Okay y'all so today is ELECTION DAY! And I just wanted to get here on the Cup to tell everybody all about the really great candidates for all the positions and just encourage everbody to to just get out there and vote for Ole Miss and just really try to help our school with, like, communication, y'all and just using run-on sentences. It's just so important, y'all, for us to just get out the vote.
So check out the profiles, y'all, after the jumpASB PRESIDENT, Y'ALL
Okay so Virginia Burke is running for president and so is Steven Worley. Virginia is like soooo smart and Steven is in the Croft Institute and junk. And they both are ready to do lobbying and have town halls. You know, really be the student voice. Expecially on this mascot (Colonel Reb is my mascot! but I also love black people! and Dixie! and T-Pain!).
ASB VICE PRESIDENT, Y'ALL
Okay, for Vice President, this is really important y'all because the role of the vice president is to, like, be the person who increases the president's national security credentials and then criticizes the next administration after his or her term is over. That's why I know Sarah Bransford or Joe Cole would do a GREAT JOB!
ASB SECRETARY, Y'ALL
Okay, the secretary's job is to be a girl. So, Rachel Willis and Mary Alex Street fit the bill (duz n e body no wut that meanz?). Also the secretary does the minutes, but Rachel and Mary Alex are so good they'd do the hours! LOL!
ASB TREASURER, Y'ALL
The treasurer is in charge of all the money for the university, which is a lot. And, I know that this position is so important, but I just can't support either of the candidates because I don't feel like they have come out strong enough to BRING BACK COLONEL REB! Also the last ASB Treasurer raised the tuition, or something. So I think we should abolish the treasurer.
ASB ATTORNEY GENERAL, Y'ALL
The attorney general is elected each year to not propose changing "Colonel Reb" to "Mister Ole Miss." All of the past ASB attorney generals have done a GREAT JOB AT THIS and I'm sure Jason Alex Darby or Troy Jackson will too! Except for the attorney general two years ago who totally screwed over my best friend and I hate him his name is ... [REDACTED]. Ohmygoshy'all I can't stand it.
So, anyway, it's so important that y'all get out to vote (early and often!). Hotty Toddy! See you at the Levee!