Stack-Ups: Everyone Has An Opinion Edition
by Ivory Tower on Aug 25, 2009 3:52 PM EDT
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PrintAbout what does everyone have an opinion? Which coaches are good coaches and which coaches really suck. Okay, sure, Les Miles is crazy. So is Houston Nutt. Nick Saban is slicker than Exxon the Seal, and Bobby Petrino makes Nick Saban look like a boring New England rector. And of course, Gene Chizik is a terrible new coach at traditionally good program, and Dan Mullen is an allegedly good new coach at a traditionally terrible program.
Opinions abound. The statistical probability that anyone will agree with mine ... low, very low.
You know everything about these coaches. I'm not telling you anything new.
ALABAMA
If the State of Alabama taxed mentions of Nick Saban in Yellowhammer State newspapers, they could erect a bullet train from Bryant-Denney Stadium to Talladega Superspeedway for easy and opulent transport of rednecks.
AUBURN
Wouldn't it be some funny shit if Auburn beats Alabama this year?
ARKANSAS
Everyone has the Razorbacks as the surprise team in the West in 2009. Here's a surprise for you: Bobby Petrino is a douche.
LSU
There has not been in all of history such a combination of jaw, haberdashery, and crazy in one person since Magellan put his hat on one of those big Polynesian faces for a nice "round-the-world" souvenier.
STATE
Dan Mullen looks like a pear.
OLE MISS
What legitimately crazy thing has Houston Nutt done since moving to Mississippi? Such is scientific proof that there's syphilis in the water in Arkansas.
Think any of that is funny? I don't care. Think what follows is completely illegitimate:
ALABAMA'S Nick Saban
OLE MISS Houston Nutt
ARKANSAS Bobby Petrino
LSU Les Miles
STATE's Dan Mullen
AUBURN's Gene Chizik.
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Its kind of strange, none of us think Les Miles is that good of a good coach, but he's been pretty successful**
He was 28-21 at Oklahoma State (16-16 in the Big 12)
He is 42-11 at LSU (22-10 in the SEC). (Including 4-0 in Bowls, did not realize that / including 2 BCS bowls/1 of those being the BCS NC).
**I guess my point is that it doesn’t seem like he’s a top notch coach but he’s not that far off from St. Nick.
48-16 at LSU (28-12 SEC / 3 – 2 with 2 BCS/1 of those being a NC).
I'd put Miles behind Saban and ahead of Nutt...
I may even bump Petrino down behind Chizik (and possibly Croom and O).
What say you Gonzo?
"Wouldn't it be some funny shit if Auburn beats Alabama this year?"
I love how it went from six game losing streak to laughable if they beat us. god bless Nick Saban
My rankings with a rant from the demon in my head to the side
1. Darth Saban (But he won last year with Shula’s seniors! And LOST to Utah!)
2. l’entraîneur terrible de football (Yea he’s got a ring… and a two year losing streak to akry!)
3. Nutt Job (FLUKE! FLUKE! I CALL FLUKE! HE LOST WITH DARREN MCFADDEN FLUKE!)
4. Bob Petty (Ryan Mallet sucks horse #$@$)
5. Danny boy (try pulling that shit without tebow)
6. Terry Bow… I mean Gene Chizik (he’s going from Iowa’s bitch to EVERYBODY’S bitch!)
(Your Team Here) sucks
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