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A Treatise on Rebel Athletics

We're worn out.  The winds aren't exactly out of our sails, but the canvas is certainly fluttering about our masts in that random, lackadaisical way that suggests a long, stressful journey for anyone aboard.  We apologize for no real enthusiasm post-Auburn.  No post game report, no YouTubes, no polls, no hatred towards what would be an opponent which is very unlikely to hate back--or even notice the hate--and our generally sour moods are things for which we (at least, I) should apologize.  You expect better. 

It's just that this can be so damned exhausting.

I am not a superstitious person.  I nearly exclusively favor chance and statistical trends over luck and hunches.  I do not fully believe in curses.  I do have a slight inclination to favor the idea of Karma, but whether or not that is the result of something mysteriously ethereal or the natural tendency for human societies to seek justice I will never truly know.

But, all of those ideas and convictions are worth nothing when I take a difficult, honest look at Ole Miss Rebel athletics.  The Rebels, I'm afraid, are very much cursed.

Star-divide

If I were to call it anything, I would call it "the curse of the polls."  Perhaps something catchier will come to me later, but that will have to do for now.  The curse is exactly what its name suggests: the Rebels will rarely perform how the polls say they will.

Now, the fact that I even have to do this makes me nauseous, but I am going to set up a straw man for the Arkansas fans I expect to comment on this somehow being the result of Houston Nutt's presence in Oxford.  Here goes:

Arkansas fans, a few things: first, kill yourself if you've decided to waste your time over here with "told-ya-so's."  You're a pathetic fucking loser if that's your purpose here.  Second, Ole Miss failing to live up to hype is a problem which is not new or even football-specific.  Go away.

"Not new or even football-specific," I said.  Yes, it's true.  Not since the 1960's have the gridiron Rebels begun and ended a season ranked in the AP poll.  If we ended there (a la last season), we certainly didn't start there, and vice versa.  And such is hardly confined to the way cooler version of rugby we American folk love so much.  How many times over the last several seasons have the Rebels of the diamond knocked on the front door of the College World Series, only to have some other would-be trick-or-treater (with a much lamer costume) hop in the way and steal all of the Reese's?  How many times have Rebel basketball teams looked hotter than a pistol a for few games--or even minutes--before tail-spinning into forgettability?  How may times [WOMEN'S SPORTS REFERENCE]?

I can remember a Rebel basketball team of two seasons ago being ranked as high as 15, only to end up in the NIT.  I can remember a slew of Bianco squads in the top-10 or even top-5 which played mostly miserable ball during the postseason.  I can remember Rebel teams coming out of seeming oblivion to beat ass in a bowl game and get that final AP ranking.  But, whether it be Eli Manning's balance, Bryce Drew's jumpshot, the Rebel Bullpen, Chris Warren's connective tissues, or Jevan Snead's botched lobotomy, there will always be something this hideous curse uses to keep us Rebels just a few steps shy of where we want to be.

This would be so much easier if we were just perennially terrible at everything.  Lose every fucking game.  By a billion damn points.  Then we would have nothing to look forward to.  But we're not that.  We do things like blow up out of nowhere and shock opponents.  We recruit decent athletes (and even a few elite ones).  We take games to the wire and make postseason play.  We give ourselves something towards which to aspire, even though it looks like we won't realize any of these aspirations any time soon.

In talking to Whiskey Wednesday yesterday, we could find very few athletics programs which suffer through similar hardships.  We name dropped Clemson, but they have won a national title in something since the color television was invented.  Arizona State has had their collapses in football, but they've got CWS titles to point to.  Auburn has been to and won a BCS Bowl game.  Maryland has a damn strong basketball program.  UVA beat us in our own damn Super Regional only five months ago.  If there is a set of collegiate athletics teams which is more difficult to be a fan of, I would like someone to show it to me.  I'm having a hard time believing it exists.   

Where can we Rebels take some sort of solace with this?  True, we've "never lost a party," but that's not the mantra I want to use here.  Lots of folks party.  Lots of folks do a fantastic job at it, to boot.  It's true, we are an elite party school, and this is a blog whose title alludes to collegiate marathon boozing in a not-at-all subtle way, but that's a phrase which is too complacent for me.  I want something with some kind of desire; something honest.  I want something a bit more controversial and emotional.

How about "the good times there are not forgotten."  The good times here, as we know, have been too few, too far between, too sudden, and too difficult to maintain.  Which is exactly why, for we Rebels, they are not forgotten.

I grew up in Mississippi and earned a degree from her flagship University.  She will never see me be something other than a dedicated fan, despite how poorly she may treat me.  This is my onus. 

Let's go Rebels.  We are Ole Miss, by damn.  Make it through the weekend and we'll see if spirits are at all lifted around here. 

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Take solace in this...

…there’s always tennis. Ole Miss has always kicked major ass in tennis.

by Queen Hoka-Hotty-Toddy on Nov 3, 2009 5:26 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

We do good in tennis but not great.

The Rebels never seem to get past the Sweet Sixteen or Elite Eight in postseason play. Plus, it’s tennis so who really cares?

by DinkyBalls on Nov 3, 2009 9:25 PM EST up reply actions   0 recs

Tennis. I Cup it, dog.

SEC Championships are awesome!

Red Cup Rebellion - Changing the culture of Ole Miss Athletics
Destroying your traditions since [YEAR REDACTED].

by Ivory Tower on Nov 4, 2009 9:22 AM EST up reply actions   0 recs

You're right...

Bhupathi, Hamedeh and Britton did not play for Ole Miss!

by Role Player on Nov 4, 2009 11:41 AM EST up reply actions   0 recs

Talking about a team national championship, fool.

Ole Miss Rebel Barnabus Kiuri (sp?) just won the SEC title in men’s CC, but Alabama won the real title, the team title.

by The Ghost of Jay Cutler on Nov 4, 2009 12:10 PM EST up reply actions   0 recs

We interrupt this eMoGhOstxxz emotional fit to bring you...

the point: there are people who care about the individual championships too. I think those athletes should get credit for their accomplishments, whether you think it is too insignificant or not.

…and now we return you to Wallowing in Emotions, which will be followed by Wearing Girlie Jeans also brought to you by eMoGhOstxxz.

by Role Player on Nov 4, 2009 12:47 PM EST up reply actions   0 recs

Dude, it's not that I don't think it's important,

but it’s misleading to say you like the tennis team because you like national champions because the tennis team—AS A TEAM—is yet to win one. AS A TEAM, they’re a monumental disappointment in that they’re perrennially a top-5 team which chokes in postseason play.

by The Ghost of Jay Cutler on Nov 4, 2009 12:55 PM EST up reply actions   0 recs

That's true...

I just don’t think it’s fair to say individual titles are not real titles, which is what you said. I was more reacting to the fac that duder above said “Plus, it’s tennis who really cares?”

I do.

by Role Player on Nov 4, 2009 2:31 PM EST up reply actions   0 recs

I'm Glad I'm not alone, Ghost.

I couldn’t have summed up my feelings on this season better myself……and us having to stoop to mention tennis (no disrespect for our awesome tennis team), “We Are Ole Miss.”

by Team BIB on Nov 3, 2009 5:36 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

I feel the same way;

however, as I remember last season, I could not have guessed we would travel to Dallas just two short months later at this point in the season. I knew we’d beat UL-Monroe and State and was excited, at best, about the possibility we could beat LSU in Baton Rouge.

Had we lost to LSU, we would have sat 7-5 and likely enjoyed getting robbed the Chik-Fil-A bowl in Atlanta.

I say all this to conjure up some sort of idea that maybe Houston Nutt is just a better Coach against the ropes. Beating LSU last year was the first win, Florida withstanding, that really got me excited about going to a great bowl game. Maybe beating UT will be the first this year and we can steamroll the rest from there leaving us 9-3 and bound for Dallas again.

I know everyone had high expectations, but let’s not get crazy. Two Cotton Bowls in two years is damn good two years removed from 0-8 in SEC play.

by Hunter C. on Nov 3, 2009 5:56 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

Damn man..

like i come around every once and a while and talk a little BS but dude…i never knew…Im sorry…YOu guys are the NCAA version of the Cubs…that sucks.

Scoring against Alabama will be like birthing a child: rare, painful, and messy. - The Ghost of Jay Cutler

by bammer on Nov 3, 2009 6:56 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

Sympathy...

Cuts far deeper than unreasonable hate or illogic. Those are things we understand and expect from SEC opponents. But sympathy? No, I’m pretty sure that is a feeling reserved for lesser conferences.

by Mitch Planey on Nov 3, 2009 7:40 PM EST up reply actions   0 recs

oh yeah..

i forgot to hit the “sarcasm” button.

Scoring against Alabama will be like birthing a child: rare, painful, and messy. - The Ghost of Jay Cutler

by bammer on Nov 3, 2009 7:48 PM EST up reply actions   0 recs

Said button should be installed soon.

And if we’re the Cubs, y’all are the Yankees. GET IT BECUZ U PAY UR PLAYERS THE MOST MONEY HAHA!

by The Ghost of Jay Cutler on Nov 3, 2009 8:00 PM EST up reply actions   0 recs

we also have all those

shinny trophies in our troph case…so thats a fair trade.

Scoring against Alabama will be like birthing a child: rare, painful, and messy. - The Ghost of Jay Cutler

by bammer on Nov 3, 2009 8:05 PM EST up reply actions   0 recs

To continue this.....(at least for a few days....)

You also dont have any new shiny trophies in a long, long, long, time….

by astaylo1 on Nov 4, 2009 9:03 AM EST up reply actions   0 recs

Just to clarify...

When was the last time Ole Miss was relevent in college football? By Ghosts calculations…never…You can say we haven’t won a title in a long time…but at least we have won one..in fact more than one.

Scoring against Alabama will be like birthing a child: rare, painful, and messy. - The Ghost of Jay Cutler

by bammer on Nov 4, 2009 11:04 AM EST up reply actions   0 recs

That was not a comparison...

it was just to reaffirm your role as the Yankees of college football.

by Role Player on Nov 4, 2009 11:34 AM EST up reply actions   0 recs

true but like the Yankees of 09

Bama of 09 has a great shot at the title this year.

Scoring against Alabama will be like birthing a child: rare, painful, and messy. - The Ghost of Jay Cutler

by bammer on Nov 4, 2009 12:37 PM EST up reply actions   0 recs

my bad..

you were talking about tennis in your comment above.

Scoring against Alabama will be like birthing a child: rare, painful, and messy. - The Ghost of Jay Cutler

by bammer on Nov 4, 2009 12:36 PM EST up reply actions   0 recs

Wow...

..is your real name Paul Finebaum? You know, the one who said that Ole Miss hasn’t mattered in forty years or so… He has a point, I know, I lived thoguh about two decades of football that could have been produced better by the Marx Brothers, but hasn’t mattered? I think its mattered everytime BAMA has squeaked by for a win, at least before the game it did, if I recall.

One would think BAMA has never been irrelevent, but only if one starts the clock in the 1960’s. If you’re going to look back then look all the way back my friend. Furthermore, if NC trophies in the UM trophy case are not meaningful, then BAMA must drop a few of theirs as well.

by Loxley Rebel on Nov 4, 2009 12:45 PM EST up reply actions   0 recs

tisk tisk

Scoring against Alabama will be like birthing a child: rare, painful, and messy. - The Ghost of Jay Cutler

by bammer on Nov 4, 2009 2:10 PM EST up reply actions   0 recs

i think that old times there are not forgotten is part ov the reason I love Ole Miss so much

We all can share great memories no matter what time we attended or visited Ole Miss. We love when we win and spend hours trying to figure out how certain players could play with their head so far up their own ass or why they started making simple errors when the pressure gets high.

 I have been a Dallas Cowboys fan since I was a pre-schooler in the 70’s and learned from my Dad that being a real fan meant that you still supported your favorite team whether they won or lost. (Which is probably why fairweather fans who leave the game before the team leaves the field piss me off so much.)

 When the expectations are as overblown as they have been this season, there really wasn’t anywhere to go but down when our team, with lots of talent on both sides of the ball, couldn’t get it all together in the same game. We just haven’t played as strongly as a team to live up to the pre-season hype. And we are now at a point where the only direction we can go is up so I am just settling in to enjoy the rest of the season. With Ole Miss you really can’t predict the rest of the season at the half-way point.

And if I happen to beat Ghost in the pick ’em pool I consider that as a decent alternative to cheering on the Rebs at the Sugar Bowl in January!

by Hilary on Nov 3, 2009 8:24 PM EST via mobile reply actions   0 recs

Perfect

This post describes my feelings exactly. Worse, for my entire life (or at least as long as I can remember) I’ve been a fan of Ole Miss sports, the Atlanta Braves, and the New Orleans Saints. In any given year only one of those teams will play great, if any. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been able to make it through an entire year of sports without having to read “Don’t Jump” books.

by LucaBrasiSleepsWithTheFishes on Nov 3, 2009 11:33 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

I couldn't have said it any better.

I too am an ole miss alum and fan, braves fan, and saints fan. And I know a lot of you are like me and are saints fans, and you’re buying into the 7-0 hype. they, too, will screw it up somehow. Just give them time. Trust me, I have watched A LOT of saints football. A LOT!

by bovice on Nov 4, 2009 9:13 AM EST up reply actions   0 recs

Agreed

I often say that being a fan of the Rebels has prepared me for being a fan of the Saints and vice-versa. I just never know which one of the teams I love is going to let me down more in any given season.

I guess a part of me must still be living in the “Chipper Jones’ Rookie Season” (also known as 1995) world because I had only limited myself to including Ole Miss and New Orleans. Thanks for reminding me that the Braves fall into that category too.

Well, at least I’m not a fair-weather fan.

by Catfish Row on Nov 6, 2009 7:15 AM EST up reply actions   0 recs

Maybe we could try it like Bianco...

and insert a left handed quarterback into the lineup. He might have a statistical advantage over all those right-handed DB’s.

by bovice on Nov 4, 2009 9:06 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Come on Guys...

It is really not that bad. You guys did fall victim to the pollsters. Auburn has been known to do that a good bit too. Although neither of us can win the West, we both will really help decide who does. Keep hanging in there, SEC football is an UP and Down roller coaster for mediocre teams.

If you are a War Damn Eagle, you can War Damn anything.

by WarDamnZach on Nov 4, 2009 3:37 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

Stop...

It is that bad. You have no idea.

by Juco All-American on Nov 4, 2009 4:34 PM EST up reply actions   0 recs

It really is that bad.

Can’t blame you for not understanding.

by ssmund on Nov 4, 2009 5:16 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

This quote may not be perfect, but it sums us up pretty well.

“We fight, get beat, rise up, and we fight again.” – General Nathaniel Greene on the Continental Army. And, oh yes, it is that bad.

by TheOnlySouthernMissRebelFan on Nov 4, 2009 6:27 PM EST via mobile reply actions   0 recs

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