Rebels in the Pros: Week 4

by One Man To Beat on Oct 6, 2009 2:12 PM EDT

Four weeks of professional football in the books, unbelievable how quickly the season is moving. Teams are solidifying their positions as play-off bound teams(see: New Orleans, DA FRAKIN NEW YORK GIANTS) or cellar dwellers(see: St. Louis, Tampa Bay).

Amid these four weeks of action, our old balls Rebels have fought valiantly through the toils of making six and seven digit salaries to perform on the highest level. Thus far, Eli, P-Willie and Mike Wallace have notched Rebel of the Week in the first three weeks; who played up this time?

Derrick Burgess, DE, New England Patriots: victorious over the Baltimore Ravens, 27-21; made four tackles, but only one solo to bring his total to eight tackles for the year.

Ken Lucas, CB, Seattle Seahawks: defeated by the Indianapolis Colts, 34-17; notched his first INT for the year along with one pass def and four tackles. This was a huge game for Lucas and would be for any CB, but it came in a losing effort.

Eli Manning, QB, New York Giants: victorious over the Kansas City Chiefs, 27-16; 20-34, 292 yds, 3 TDs, 1 INT and hurt his heel in a very unusually named injury. Message board doctors are insisting that they had the same injury playing golf and that he'll be back to 150 percent by week 5.

Ashlee Palmer, LB, Buffalo Bills: defeated by the Miami Dolphins, 38-10; one tackle bringing his season total to three. I'm glad Palmer is getting a chance to play in THA LEAGUE, but he's unfortunately on one of the worst teams.

Mike Wallace, WR, Pittsburgh Steelers: victorious over the San Diego Chargers, 38-28; two receptions for 47 yards as the Steelers gave the ball to Rashard Mendenhall roughly 3928 times. Wallace is on pace to bring down nearly 800 yards receiving in his first year. I wish Ben Roethlisberger wasn't such a douchebag, so I could like this team more.

Patrick Willis, LB, San Francisco 49ers: victorious over the St. Louis Rams, 35-0; racked up eight tackles, one INT, a pass def and 2.5 sacks. The Rams are absolutely horrible, and these are Madden stats for a LB. P-Willie finished the game by scoring 97 percent on an organic chemistry exam having never studied the subject.

If P-Willie was on the New York Giants, Pittsburgh Steelers, New England Patriots or the Chicago Bears, he'd be touted as one of the greatest LB of all time already by ESPN. Unfortunately, the West Coast media doesn't seem to value defense nearly as much. Willis is our old balls Rebel of the Week with an honorable mention going to Ken Lucas for grabbing that first pick. May many more come to you, fine sir.

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P-Willie

That interception and return for a touchdown by Patrick Willis was a beauty.

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken

by BimBamOleMissByDamn on Oct 6, 2009 2:40 PM EDT reply actions

Oher Deserves Some Love Too

In just his fourth start at right tackle, he had to move to left tackle after an injury and performed pretty well against the Pats. I’d also give a Mississippi shout-out to Favre for a pretty incredible day.

by 18mph on Oct 6, 2009 3:08 PM EDT reply actions

I want Favre to fail!

by Role Player on Oct 6, 2009 3:55 PM EDT up reply actions

Ben Roethlisberger is a douche’s douche. He deserves to be playing baseball for the Pirates.

by FireBoone on Oct 6, 2009 5:10 PM EDT reply actions

P-Willie Love

I don’t know what they’re sayin about him on the West Coast, but everything I’ve heard over the past few days indicates a serious Patrick Willis love fest on ESPN. I heard things such as “best linebacker in the league” on MNF, “Willis is all over the field,” and “Patrick Willis is a beast” (but we could’ve told them that years ago).

And the fact that he’s on a (typically) dreadful team just draws more attention to the few good players they do have.

I get crunk 25 days a week!

by 25 Days a Week on Oct 6, 2009 5:25 PM EDT reply actions