Proofreading: LOST Edition

Every week, the Cup submits its collective ballot for the Blogpoll - a conglomeration of blogpinions that purports to be different from all other polls in that it is entirely resume-based.  This is all very exciting for Rebel fans, now that Ole Miss has completed a victory over a breathing opponent.  This week Proofreading celebrates the forthcoming final season of the greatest television program in the history of this civilization-destroying medium.

Get LOST after the jump.

Texas, Alabama, and Florida you are ...

Jack Sheppard.

You are the traditional leader.  If life makes you the winner, no one will be surprised.  To the uninitiated, you are they who are assumed to be the hero.  However, to those of us who are real fans it's clear that despite your good looks and tradition of winning, you have shown some flaws.  Nevertheless, history can be a pretty predictable lady, and if she writes a happy ending into your story, we will all say that we saw it coming.

Boise State, Cincinnati, TCU, and Iowa you are ...

James "Sawyer" Ford

It's an interesting development, really, that you have become the central focus of the story.  You've certainly always been a principle, but, honestly, we all know that your prominence is in some ways merely a consequence of the absence of very many "Jacks."  Because, in the long run, Jack is always going to show up - perhaps with an atomic bomb - and steal the show right back from you and your dream world where you boink the attractive principal co-star will come to a light-flashing end.  And, in the end, you may regret it all.  Back in the day, you had no expectations and you got in Kate's pants occasionally.  Now that you've made it to the show, is your life really any better?

Southern Cal, Oregon, Georgia Tech, Oklahoma State, Penn State, and LSU you are

Mr. Eko.

You are interesting, cool, and helpful to the camp, however, I am certain that you are ultimately irrelevant to the story-line.  When the show is over, the only folks that will be talking about you are your partisans.  You went out and faced a smoke-monster and you lost.  Consequently, your story, as it pertains to the ultimate resolution of the season, is over.  Of course, that won't stop the people who love you from talking about how you could beat Sawyer or Jack like a rug on a neutral field, if given the chance.

Houston, Pitt, Utah, West Virginia, and Central Michigan you are

Kate Austin.

Hey there, hot stuff.  Fancy the way you've been able to win so much.  Of course, you've been a more integral part of the story - you've handled a gun a lot better than anyone thought when this all started - and are alike Sawyer in that way.  Nevertheless, you lack a "true north," in that, unlike Sawyer, your goals are not perfectly clear.  You're here and you're making news, but why are you here and just what do you expect to be accomplishing?

Virginia Tech, Miami, South Carolina, and Ohio State you are

Paulo.

I think things ain't gonna turn out quite like you once expected them.

Wisconsin, Ole Miss, Auburn, Cal, Navy, Rutgers, and Notre Dame you are

The Others.

Two.  Faced.  You may or may not be the good guys.  Those of you we know, have been at times human and at other times monsters.  The rest of you are not at all well-known; you're still something of a mystery.  You're important, but just how important, we cannot know until you show us a little bit more.

Idaho, Texas Tech, Nebraska, Michigan, BYU, and South Florida you are

Daniel Farady.

Nice having you around, but now you're dead.