Keeping Tabs: What Are Your Favorite Rebels Doing for Spring Break?

There are a couple of things in which we here at the Cup have always taken great pride - our strong journalistic credibility, non-medically-enhanced manhoods, and multi-continent singing tour are just a few of them. It takes a special kind of trust and work ethic to offer you the absolutely factual look into the real lives of Ole Miss scholar athletes - a term I use with equal seriousness - that has become a hallmark of our little operation. So, we hope you will appreciate the great sacrifices we made to publish for you this annotated list of the spring break plans of some of your favorite Rebels combined by our sources deep inside the athletics department for whom you may mourn in your own way.

Jerrell Powe, in a compromise with Tracy Rocker, is taking his motor scooter down to Panama City Beach for one of those old-fashioned motorcycle parades. Rocker insisted, though, that it be this particular parade - the 14th Annual Mark Mangino - Little Debbie West Florida Obesity Awareness Ride. Said Powe, "I haz an appetite ... for the open road."

Dexter McCluster is in the unfortunate position of having to complete a research project over the break. Not for school, though. McCluster is flying out to Los Angeles to view an advance showing of X-Men Origins: Wolverine in order to gain more information on something called an adamantium skeleton.

Jevan Snead, always the responsible one, has taken a job babysitting a kid for an old friend who is really busy next week.

Greg Hardy is going to wall-paper his room at home with his Sports Illustrated cover picture. And then tear them all down as a sign of his angst. And then wall-paper his room at home with his Sports Illustrated cover picture. And then tear them all down as a sign of his angst. And then wall-paper his room at home with his Sports Illustrated cover picture. And then tear them all down as a sign of his angst. And then wall-paper his room at home with his Sports Illustrated cover picture. And then tear them all down as a sign of his angst. And then wall-paper his room at home with his Sports Illustrated cover picture. And then tear them all down as a sign of his angst. And then wall-paper his room at home with his Sports Illustrated cover picture. And then tear them all down as a sign of his angst. And then have coffee. And shame.

It's Spring Break at Oxford High School, as well, so Coach Houston Nutt has decided to take the wife and daughter Haven on a trip to Fayetteville to visit some old friends and plan ways to sabotage the lives of his former players as part of his grand scheme to ruin the University of Arkansas, leading, inevitably, to the collapse of the Natural State and its annexation by Generalissimo Chuck Norris of the Republic of Texas. Oops! Kinda let the cat out of the bag on that one.

Marshay Green will attempt to recreate the excitement of his most recent football season by telling everyone that he is going to Cancun, but spending most of the break bathing in the cool, brown waters of lovely Galveston, before actually showing up in Cancun at the end of the week and being so hot that he hooks up with fifty Spanish chick and buys MTV.

And, finally, Rebel-to/may-be Jamar Hornsby will be exactly where you guessed - on tour with Dent May and his magnificent ukulele.