An Unnumbered List of Things That Are Comparable

Some of you may have heard that Nick Saban discovered late Tuesday night that he might lose some recruits to the University of Mississippi and, subsequently, contacted Houston Nutt with a series of scurrilous accusations of recruiting violations.

Pot. Kettle. Black.

This information, you may also know, inspired the following (herein paraphrased) comparison from one of my blolleagues, towit, "Being accused of cheating by Nick Saban is like reading 'On Child Raising' by Brittany Spears." Other comparisons below:

The dark period between national signing day and the last weekend in August is like a seventh-month Will and Grace marathon. Or worse.

The symbolic mudhole Bobbie Massie stomped into the hearts of Alabama fans is, while simultaneously sweet and sadistic, comparatively miniscule when viewed in perspective of the giant footsteps he will leave in his wake in Tuscaloosa, Baton Rouge, Starkville, etc.

In tonight's annual installment of the Mississippi Cup (formerly the River Hills Cup) - the annual non-conference tennis match between the Rebels and rival Mississippi State - the Rebel Netters are likely to abuse the Maroons with the same intensity with which Ed Orgeron treats the English language.

Andy Kennedy's basketball team has all the predictability and consistency of a joint news conference with Sarah Palin and Charles Manson.

The likelihood that the baseball stadium will be completed to such a reasonable degree that my opening baseball weekend will not be marked by leather-eating red mud is significant less than the likelihood that Mike Slive has engineered some way for the Southeastern Conference to get some sizable portion of President Obama's $900 billion stimulus plan.