University of Florida quarterback Tim Tebow underwent arthroscopic surgery on his right (non-throwing) shoulder today. In addition to removing bone spurs from the shoulder, doctors also discovered foreign shards of teeth and jawbones from the shoulder, seemingly belonging to as many as two dozen different human males, most in their early 20's. Politely citing the implausibility of the request, doctors also explained to Tebow that medical science allowed them to replace the injured arm with neither a chainsaw nor a flamethrower.