Auburn Keeps Spinning the Bottle

Yet to nail down anyone with which to spend 3 - 4 years in hell, Auburn continues the search for its next victim head coach. And you thought predicting the champion of the Atlantic Coast Conference was difficult.

The latest hottest rumor is Texas Christian head coach Gary Patterson. I seem to recall another coach moving from Forth Worth to the Heart of Dixie. Oh ... right.

What about Turner Gill? Skip Holtz? Both of them were also in the running for the Syracuse job until Holtz skipped out. But the folks up around Canada way say that even the Orange don't want Gill.

Perhaps this was all an elaborate ruse by Tom, planned out even as his adminstration was courting Bobby Petrino in 2003.

• Step one: reveal the plot to dethrone Tom of the Tubervilles.

• Step two: don't lose a game in 2004; win national championship. (oops!)

• Step three: hire and fire offensive coordinators like they're lawn maintenence staff.

• Step four: resign; create deception of firing; do so at most inopportune time.

Revenge! Sweet revenge!