Post-game Analysis

I had surgery Friday morning under general anesthesia. Not only was I still tired and sore Saturday, I couldn’t drink, what with all the painkillers swimming in my system. I tell you that to tell you this: my intent is for these weekly postgame write-ups to be drunken, shit-talkin’ rants, hopefully with enough analytical observations to differentiate it from an SBR post on NAFOOM (which was particularly inspiring this week, by the way). This week, however, life, as well as hydrocodone, got in the way…

All of that aside, Memphis: don’t let the door hit you in the ass. Have fun with your basketball team full of choke job criminals, and don’t ever come here again. We’ve got BCS teams to play, and (hopefully) a coach that can beat some of them. Here’s the thing Tigers: we didn’t even play that well, save for Shay Hodge, Dexter McCluster, and Brandon Bolden. Snead, Wallace, and essentially the entire defense had an off night, and you still got run over. Garrett Ryan and Chris Bowers played extensively. We used five running backs. Andy Hartmann almost scored. You suck completely (though apparently, you’d have knocked off State or Texas A&M yesterday). A few other observations not involving how much Memphis sucks…

Offensive play-calling was exceptional. Not sure how often Snead changed plays around, but it seemed like Nutt and Austin always had guys in place to make big plays.

Run-blocking was a little disappointing. Still want to see Oher, Jerry and co. knock people around. We had trouble running up the middle. This might have been a result of Memphis trying to make Snead beat them. Or we might still be soft.

It was disappointing that we only had big performances from two receivers. Wallace was open deep a lot, but couldn’t haul it in, and Summers, Harris, and Breaux were non-factors. Jason Cook has nice hands, and I love having that option in the offense. It’d be great if the tailbacks could get involved in the passing game, too.

So yeah, about Enrique Davis being a second team all-SEC back? Not gonna happen. Bolden will steal lots of carries. Kid has great skills.

Defensively, defending the spread is a pain in the ass. You pretty much have to recruit against it, and we haven’t been doing it. You don’t want to bring out a defense built to stop bubble screens against teams like LSU and Georgia. Still, defense was disappointing on a number of levels.

In the trip receiver sets that Memphis almost always ran, we had the flanker shadowed by a safety lined up several yards back, allowing him to catch it with room to build up a head of steam and hide behind his blockers. If we know they want the screen, why not jam up all three receivers? Could be totally off base here, I have never personally defended the spread.

Emmanuel Stevens and Kentrell Lockett are adequate starters, but may not be much more. We won’t be generating many sacks without Hardy. We tried to disguise blitzes, but didn’t execute them very well. There isn’t any substitute for pressure generated by the front four. Garrett Ryan knocked down a pass at the line. Hell yeah, Ryan, that’s a story to tell your grandkids. Also good to see Bowers out there; he’s played whenever he’s been healthy, so hopefully he’ll finish up the year and continue to contribute.

Linebackers: hit somebody. Please. Jamarca Sanford and Kendrick Lewis are upstaging the linebacking corps (that’s ‘linebacking core,’ Yancy Porter fans) that we’ve been excited about recently. Lamar Brumfield is going to get picked on. Coverage skills don’t look so hot, and if offenses can draw him in, his side will be vulnerable to outside runs. Deer Allen Walker: pleez to git all better soon. Kthnxbai.

Corners weren’t awful. Most of the time, they did a good job of keeping the play in front of them, but you’ve got to step up and be aggressive sometimes. I’d like to see more of Marshay Green. His athleticism and toughness are great assets. The corners got burned a couple of times, but Hudgens threw some really good balls, and all along we knew the Memphis receivers would get theirs. Calhoun would probably be our best receiver. If Shay Hodge wasn’t such a badass.

That about does it for the postgame analysis, save for a few side notes:

Jumbotron. Good job, Pete. Also, I appreciate the ribbon boards much more than I did last year, especially when they bring to me good tidings of State going down in flames.

Parents. I know you love your children. Please understand that everyone else hates them. Don’t let your kids bring scooters to the Grove. They go from being mere nuisances to fearsome pre-pubescent projectiles of death for old people, cripples (like me!), and oblivious sorority girls everywhere. Cut. That. Shit. Out.

Officials. Offensive pass interference. Carlos Singleton is still pushing off on Dustin Mouzon. Call it.

Memphis fans. Has our teasing finally hurt your feelings? I saw fewer pairs of jorts than ever before. I saw nary a jort/mullet combo all day. And I was a little sad inside.

Rh0d3$t@rzorz (or however you spell it). You win the 'Best Drunk In My General Vicinity' award. Party on.

WakeForest. Now that we have a method of getting Shay Hodge and Dexter McCluster the ball consistently (the ‘accurate forward pass method,’ specifically), you best watch it.

Until next time.

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