Nuttables

by The Ghost of Jay Cutler on Aug 3, 2008 2:16 PM EDT

Invitation Oxford, the local "making upper-middle class white people feel more significant than they really are" magazine recently released their August issue which featured none other than Houston Dale Nutt and family as the cover story. Aside from the obvious information which one can simply glean from the cover photograph (his daughters are hot and he has a nice pond, for example), the piece explains that, in the Nutt household, "it's all about family, football, and the farm."

Click here for a PDF of the story.

What I found to be a particularly interesting feature of the article was a list of "Nuttables" (this is getting out of hand) which is apparently a list of tenets which are followed closely in the Nutt household. Here is that list as pulled directly from Invitation Oxford:

Why share this? Honestly, it's an early Sunday afternoon with football being an excruciating 4 weeks away and nothing passes the time like baiting Arkansas fans. I can see it now: they'll attack his claims of humility, character, and commitment while completely ignoring the glass houses in which they live. Yes, I'm being petty but c'mon, give me a damn break. What else is a rogue blogger to do?

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Comments

Good article. Houston probably should have ditched the dress pants before heading to go tend to the horses, thouh.

Aside from mentions that Houston, III exists, this is the first I'd read about him. Everything talked about them trying to get the twins to go to Ole Miss. I guess he's a senior to be so it wouldn't make much sense for him to transfer? Anyone know him? What's he like? I wouldn't say he comes across as the black sheep, but you kinda sense that.

by Bacchus815 on Aug 3, 2008 10:24 PM EDT reply actions

And he looks like a homosexual Mexican. Most likely a product of Diana and the gardener. These are things best kept out of the public eye.

by Anonymous on Aug 4, 2008 11:19 AM EDT reply actions

How embarrassing.

by Anonymous on Aug 4, 2008 5:22 PM EDT reply actions

uh oh.

http://nafoom.yuku.com/topic/5666/t/Anybody-know-about-Nutt-s-daughters-getting-arrested.html

by Anonymous on Aug 4, 2008 6:27 PM EDT reply actions

Did he mention that his horses don't ask questions?

by Jason on Aug 5, 2008 3:35 PM EDT reply actions

Haha.

Somebody sent me a link to this.

I know I'm late, but the Nuttables are absolutely hilarious. This is literally like he took half of his cliche phrases that we all made fun of him for... and amassed them together in some weird combination that really has no rhyme or reason.

Pure.

Awesome.

by Yellow Tail Swine on Aug 6, 2008 12:29 AM EDT reply actions

Oh...
and bacchus, H the 3rd is allegedly exactly as you said: "the black sheep." But I think you may not mean it as much as it is allegedly true.

by Yellow Tail Swine on Aug 6, 2008 12:32 AM EDT reply actions