Wine Analogies on EDSBS Live

by The Ghost of Jay Cutler on Jun 18, 2008 5:27 PM EDT

Last night I was able to call in and give my spill on EDSBS Live, an online radio show put together by (wait for it, wait for it) EDSBS. I, as was with all of the callers, was asked to answer four questions and, as an Ole Miss fan, I answered them thusly:

What Type of wine is your football team? "Ole Miss is a mediocre merlot with a really fancy label. Seemingly classy and expensive but is, in all actuality, rather affordable." This not only covers the view much of the SEC has towards the Ole Miss fanbase but also covers the view much of the Ole Miss fanbase has towards our athletics. Long story short, we're never as good as we say we are.
Your best vintage year, describe in wine-y terms. "1969: The vintage year of this wine's greatest fame. This wine begins slowly but it's flavor develops around it's lively, central, "Manning-style" flavor. Has a victoriously sugary finish." I crafted this answer to incorporate Archie Manning's national come to being (1969 against Alabama) and the 1970 Sugar Bowl victory over Arkansas.
Robert Parker reviews your arch enemy. Go. "Mississippi State is reminiscent of diet peach soda, steel wool, and velveeta. This 'wine' is snappy, somewhat caustic, and undeservedly demanding of your attention. While a part of the 12-member family of great Southern wines, this sin-water often escapes mention or is listed 12th." If anyone has a good answer for LSU or would like to submit their own for "dear ol' State" please feel free.
Describe yourself in wine terms. "Subtly brilliant in small doses, unbearably pungent and incredibly vexatious in larger quantities. Only truly appreciated by the insane and drug addicted." If you knew me, it'd make sense.