Tar Heel Tennis - What You Need to Know

Let's start with an editorial note:

GOOD GOD! THIS IS THE THIRD TENNIS POST IN A ROW!

But, Friday morning Rebel Nation will continue its most reasonable hope for a national championship in anything (back off, Rifle Girls, what you do is illegal in at least 13 states) against the University of North Carolina Tar Heels. UNC is a different kind of program than Ole Miss - it has Americans. That's plural with an S. Five from North Carolina alone. In fact, the Tar Heels have not one, no, no, not one Nordic tennis player.

Advantage: Ole Miss.

Here's a recipe for success if you ever wanted one: recruit a bunch of Euro-trash who went to high schools like the Norwegian School for Athletics (Erling Tveit's alma mater - it's like Genesis One only without having to pretend that "academics" is the reason people go to school). If you (and by "you" I mean the architect of an athletic program that doesn't make money) absolutely have to have an American, make sure he's black.

Where's the diversity, Tar Heels? You're racism is killing me inside, North Carolina.

It's because of this lack of foresight that the Tar Heels got heeled by Miami in the ACC Tournament. Click the link, and you'll see why I cannot figure out if Miami has a tennis team or a fraternity chapter at a Big Ten school.

If you're looking for actual analysis, UNC boasts the #6 Doubles Team in the country - Taylor Fogleman and Chris Kearney, but Jonas and Erling are ranked #5 and Wellerman and ten Berge are ranked #21, so...Go Rebs! UNC players ranked in the ITA Top 100 include 2 court man Stefan Hardy at #73 and 3 court man Chris Kearney at #91. Ole Miss individuals are Erling Tveit at 22, Matthias Wellerman at 29, Robbye Poole at 56, and Bram ten Berge at 95.

The Rebels, in summary, are deeper than the Tar Heels by almost any measure. For more information on the Rebels click here or click here for notes on North Carolina.

25 Days a Week and I will be going to Tulsa this weekend where nothing less than a personal introduction to the team members' busty European sisters will be satisfactory. I think we will also try to catch the tennis match. We would liveblog, but we aren't sure that Tulsa has progressed beyond tins cans connected by taut string. But, if by some miracle, this system of tubes and wires connects itself to the only state that wishes it were Texas, we'll keep you posted.

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