So if you're looking for a great weekend in Oxford this spring... this may not be it. Avett Brothers
headline Double Decker, and will easily be the best act in DD history, as far as I'm concerned. Unlike the past few years though, the DD headliner probably couldn't start at quarterback and/or cornerback on the football team. So if you like, I dunno, sports and shit, maybe this weekend will be ok...
I have a beef with the Ole Miss PR 'machine' this weekend. By declaring Manning-Willis day this weekend, we slight two recent Ole Miss greats, Deuce 'Volkswagen' McAllister, and Derrick Burgess. Like Manning/Willis, they had great collegiate success on underachieving Ole Miss teams, and went on to do great things in the NFL, McAllister being an integral part of the best Saints team in history, and Burgess leading the NFL in sacks two years ago. Also, Deuce has already supplied the University with a significant monetary contribution, and with all of his dealerships, he looks to do the same in the future, as well as send his kids here to pledge Phi Delta Theta.
So anyway, here are two lists of observations/predictions to look out for this weekend, one of which is likely to happen, one of which, if it happens, don't say I didn't call it...
1. Greg Hardy does something ridiculous. Whether he kills Billy Tapp in cold blood or chases down Mike Wallace on a deep route after shaking off a Michael Oher Block and getting chop blocked by Corey Actis and Chaz Ramsey, expect Greg to do something to assert himself as the most dominant class skipper on campus.
2. Dustin Mouzon turns in a solid performance, solidifying his top spot at CB, leaving Vaughn and Green to battle it out for the other spot. My vote goes to Green, based on his having been taught to, I dunno, catch the ball sometimes.
3. Tony Fein makes a good push as the starter at Mike 'backer. I think Cornell or perhaps Trahan get the eventual nod here, but Fein is instinctive, and will likely do well against our offense. Spread and/or spread option offenses will kill him, but he'll at least be in the conversation until we come across one for realstown. Staff sources indicate that despite his speed limitations, Fein's wicked awesome tattoo could start at outside 'backer in a pinch.
4. Allen Walker/Jamarca Sanford/an errant observer might hit Dex so hard he dematerializes. I'm really excited about him being so involved in the offense. But please, Coach, don't put him in until SEC play.
5. Jevan Snead will NOT throw an interception to Mike Dzura, as he did last spring. Mainly because Dzura got, like, hardcore busy with frat stuff and isn't on the team anymore. Seriously, though, if Snead throws picks, it'll only be to legit DB's, ya'll. I am worried about his Brett Favre tendencies, but hopefully he learns to trust his offense enough to help him score without throwing up garbage.
6. Offensive line gets beat up, gets called various effeminate names by Markuson. I think they'll be fine, especially when John Jerry gets rid of whatever unsavory medical condition
currently ails him. However, Peria + Hardy + Tillman + Laurent + Stevens + Lockett = a disconcerting amount of sacks for an offensive line coach. This will also cause folks to be underwhelmed with Cordera Eason, but again, I'll give him a pass for now.
7. Assuming that teams are divided into first team O/second team D vs. second team O/first team D, I'm picking the first team O, since the defensive line backups will dominate their offensive counterparts, and the deep receiving corps on the second team won't have many good passes come their way. 17-7, first team O, decided in regulation...
Fake predictions (but don't blame me if they happen):
1. Tracy Rocker and Jerrell Powe get bored on the sidelines and ingest Dexter McCluster. Though not as high in protein, Nutt will appeal to Powe to snack on private school kickers in the future.
2. Rory Johnson, Mico McSwain, and Jamal Harvey drop by to watch their former teammates, but are quickly evacuated as the APR reactor reaches critical mass.
3. Andy Kennedy and Mike Bianco make a special guest appearance to speak to the team about reaching their potential.
.. various NAFOOM posters suffer irony-related aneurysms.
4. Houston Nutt will express his continued optimism towards the team saying that, although he is excited about the progress of the team as a whole, "we're really just waiting on Hunter Miller
5. Make your own... It is damn near 2:30 A.M., and I'm almost sober.