The Powe-Tron
by The Ghost of Jay Cutler on Apr 25, 2008 9:42 AM EDT
3 comments
As a part of our media rights contract with TeleSouth we will soon be getting a brand new jumbotron for Vaught Hemingway Stadium. While the prospect of a new, cutting edge screen is thrilling, let us not forget that the man behind all of this is Pete Boone. Yeah, according to the Clarion Ledger, the thing is going to cover about 4000 square feet and cost anywhere from $5 to 7 million but I'm not yet convinced. Remember, we are Ole Miss and we are embarrassingly excellent at cutting corners.
Take this quote for instance: "the actual screen is 84 feet wide by 48 feet tall and it's supposed to be HD quality."
Did anybody else catch that? Supposed to be "HD quality?" So not only is it not HD, and not only does it not necessarily have HD quality, it is simply "supposed" to have HD quality? But wait, there's more! You see, the aforementioned price range of roughly 5-7 million bucks is, of course, determined by the varying bids put forth by big-ass-screen companies and construction companies. Knowing their track record, what makes you think that Pete Boone and the rest of the athletic department will pick the greatest and the grandest screen available? The ever-churning rumor mill even has it that he has, in fact, taken the lowest possible bid.
When many people/Spirit board posters heard about a new jumbotron they had something like this in mind. However, we at the cup know better. We know that whatever grandiose visions we have aboutthis new jumbotron the future in general are false. Therefore we have come up with our own versions of what will actually be built above our north end zone bleachers.
This is the stadium as it looks today. The current screen is on the right hand side juuuuust above the bleachers there... do you see it? No?! Look closer. No this isn't one of those God damned "magic eyes!" Shit, ok, well.... Just bear with me, it's there (click the picture for biggification if need be).
The first potential jumbotron is big as fuck, just as promised, yet is only of "supposed HD quality."
Yes, those are individually placed plastic pegs.
Take this quote for instance: "the actual screen is 84 feet wide by 48 feet tall and it's supposed to be HD quality."
Did anybody else catch that? Supposed to be "HD quality?" So not only is it not HD, and not only does it not necessarily have HD quality, it is simply "supposed" to have HD quality? But wait, there's more! You see, the aforementioned price range of roughly 5-7 million bucks is, of course, determined by the varying bids put forth by big-ass-screen companies and construction companies. Knowing their track record, what makes you think that Pete Boone and the rest of the athletic department will pick the greatest and the grandest screen available? The ever-churning rumor mill even has it that he has, in fact, taken the lowest possible bid.
When many people/Spirit board posters heard about a new jumbotron they had something like this in mind. However, we at the cup know better. We know that whatever grandiose visions we have about
This is the stadium as it looks today. The current screen is on the right hand side juuuuust above the bleachers there... do you see it? No?! Look closer. No this isn't one of those God damned "magic eyes!" Shit, ok, well.... Just bear with me, it's there (click the picture for biggification if need be).
The first potential jumbotron is big as fuck, just as promised, yet is only of "supposed HD quality."
Yes, those are individually placed plastic pegs.The design of the next screen relies on the assumption that we will dry up a well of expenses with the creation of our new screen. Well, we've gotta get that money back somehow and I submit that there would be no better way than shameless advertising space!
"For some reason, I really want some Taco Bell..."
And thou shalt not drink beer in the Grove!
"For some reason, I really want some Taco Bell..."Of course, we at Ole Miss like to march to the beat of our own drum and could think waaaaay outside of the box with this one. We could move back into our holy-rolling evangelical roots with this one and deliver messages from Reverent Nutt via jumbotron.
And thou shalt not drink beer in the Grove!Of course, we've got to name this thing. You can't build such a monumental fuck-up without actually giving it a keen, punchline-worthy name. At Texas they have the "Godzillatron" (not a fuck-up, for the record) so why not name ours the "God-damn-it-tron?" Is there another name that can better demonstrate the frustration of the Ole Miss fan?
No? You don't like it? Too vulgar for the kids? Well, ok. Let's see, ooh, the "Mothratron!"
No? Yeah, I agree, Mothra was pathetic.
I've got it! Let's give it a name which embodies something which is large, stupid, not really on campus, frustrating, and an unaware butt of countless jokes. The POWE-TRON! Yes, fans, when the inevitably embarrassing monstrosity that is the new jumbotron is completed you'll look up at it and think, "yeah.... Powe-tron."
No? You don't like it? Too vulgar for the kids? Well, ok. Let's see, ooh, the "Mothratron!"
No? Yeah, I agree, Mothra was pathetic.
I've got it! Let's give it a name which embodies something which is large, stupid, not really on campus, frustrating, and an unaware butt of countless jokes. The POWE-TRON! Yes, fans, when the inevitably embarrassing monstrosity that is the new jumbotron is completed you'll look up at it and think, "yeah.... Powe-tron."
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well if we where in TN it would be easily called VolTron.
by Anonymous on Apr 25, 2008 11:13 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Wow your a regular comedian there aren't you little writer man? Hey next time you should put more cuss words and cool jokes in there because thats so awesome and funny!
Your probably some loser who couldn't even get into college. Hope it makes you feel better to make fun of a kid like Jerrel Powe, who has a learning disorder and has done nothing but try and try again to get the NCAA grant him his only wish to play football. The kid has a bright future (NFL) and maybe when he gets there he can take all his money and step on your tiny head.
Your probably some loser who couldn't even get into college. Hope it makes you feel better to make fun of a kid like Jerrel Powe, who has a learning disorder and has done nothing but try and try again to get the NCAA grant him his only wish to play football. The kid has a bright future (NFL) and maybe when he gets there he can take all his money and step on your tiny head.
by Jim Rome on May 1, 2008 5:10 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
"Your probably some loser who couldn't even get into college."
Please learn the difference between your and you're before you question whether or not I'm in college. If you can't take a little bit of humor at the expense of the biggest recruiting headache Ole Miss may have ever endured then you're either immature, insecure, or both.
Oh, and for the record, I'm graduating (from Ole Miss, if you're curious) in a week.
Please learn the difference between your and you're before you question whether or not I'm in college. If you can't take a little bit of humor at the expense of the biggest recruiting headache Ole Miss may have ever endured then you're either immature, insecure, or both.
Oh, and for the record, I'm graduating (from Ole Miss, if you're curious) in a week.
by The Ghost of Jay Cutler on May 1, 2008 8:17 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
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