Left Tackle Michael Brown and Defensive Tackle Quinton Wesley have been dismissed from Mississippi State's football team pending an investigation into a "campus incident involving two handguns."

According to The Cup's sources, Brown and Wesley brandished their weapons outside the residence of out-going Mississippi State President Robert "Doc" Foglesong yelling, "You got Croomed! You got Croomed!"

When asked why Brown and Wesley were dismissed rather than suspended, paragon of virtue and head football coach Sylvester Croom responded, "Because they don't run as fast as Derek Pegues."